You cant trust him because he is out for sex.. You sound pretty smart,so for your own piece of mind you should stay away from him. YOUR WELL BEING DOES NOT DEPEND ON HIM NOR ANYONE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER!! He waited 7 days to admit this, I remeber that night he came home, boy did he ever have amazing sex with me? He has robbed me of my what used to be a happy life!! And why would he be constantly messaging with someone after he told me he couldnt have his phone on the rig. Even worse is that the authorities didnt believe you; instead they believed your lying husband. He tells me it was the only picture she ever sent. It doesnt seem likely that theyd both make up this stuff, just for the fun of it. The messages were more or less saying what they wanted to do to each other and in his he had said if she wasnt married he would leave me tomorrow cos he loved her. Of course it is not your fault. There is definitely something or someone who is distracting him; distracting him enough to change his appearance and stop contacting you willfully. All kinds of things predict infidelity, Milhausen said. I will risk sounding rude here but I completely understand your husband. Spying, calling around, and interrogating their partners, women invest their energy in a senseless hunt to prove what is already obvious: the relationship is seriously broken. Please give me advice thank u. I come from a difference race. Affair Strategies for a "Long Game". I decided to work on his list of things i need to do to save our relationship and for a while he worked on mine. That day I kicked him out only to beg him to stay. I never thought my husband would be this person. Know what you are going to do if he admits the fact of cheating. People getting married. Stop being in denial. So after learning about narcissism, I understood I was a victim. only during times when I was not at home, or while he was at work. He even remembers her name and what she did for a living even after all these years. Tomorrow I will not cry over him ever again, How to Forgive Your Husband for Cheating While He Was Alive, 11 Undeniable Signs of Cheating Wisdom After the Affair, The Truth about Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It, Is He Lying to You? May you find renewed strength and energy, and may nurture the most important relationship in your life: the one you have with YOU. Should I have this baby and be stuck with him for the rest of my life or end it with him and the baby. Its been three weekend now hes been going the Saturday and coming back the Sunday. Your ANSWER on whether you can forgive and move on is the only answer that matters now. :). If you think hes lying to you, then he probably is. I have had suspicion of my husband cheating or trying to so I put a tracker on his phone. Last year july he told me that he was going on a fishing weekend with some guys from his work, i did not think it strange as he did that often. She called me and we chatted on the phone about it, me crying my eyes out and her telling me itd be okay and he wasnt worth the tears. I never had a feeling he was cheating. I cannot tell you if you should stay with your cheating husband, but I do believe he will not change. This has made me just want to be dead. I really do love him and he stopped talking to her but I have big problems forgiving him due to all the added lying. He says he has told me everything after initially lieing. Thats the root of his inclination to stray. And this same girl is my neighbor so i wanted to confront her but i thouhgt twice and stopped.He comes home late claiming he did over time.I know he is cheating from the looks on his face but i just dont know what to do.Help Please. Then I noticed that he messages or calls his roommate early in the morning like around the time they should be leaving for work. my questions are, is he cheating or not? He thinks hes getting better at lying about it but in reality hes only making it worse by continuing to neglect my needs and cut me off of everything. I know he cheated, I just cant prove it. Screw this guy. He said it meant nothing, he hadnt slept with her and it was just banter. We dont have the money for counseling and Im afraid he will think its nuts that I want counseling. Hes cheated on me before, he was drunk (no excuse though) and then he lied to me about it for a while, finally told me, and I forgave him. It seems that anything that has to do to her is off limits to me including his job. Am I an idiot for staying with him? He wrote The Truth about Cheating because he wanted to empower women by showing them how men think which includes why husbands cheat on their wives. Our daughters age. Have you talked to a counselor? Today he tells me he cant stand to be with me, and it hurts more to hear that now that hes sober. Trying to sweep it under the rug like it never happened. He also started putting a lot of blame on me for the way he felt..and I knew we did have problems so assumed he swas depressed and maybe if we got marriage consoling things would get solved. He admitted he deleted the emails as they came in. I have had this nagging feeling that something isnt right. When I first confronted him he said she was a lesbian, but i found a text message he failed to delete that said I LOVE YOU. yes he is cheating with your friend .Your instincts are dead on .You need to confront your friend and end the friendship with her as well .If you cant work it out with your husband divorce is a great option .Based on the information you have posted here ,your husband is a serial cheater .Men like to make u think that you are the crazyone but you are intuitive and intelligent enough to see what is going on .It is up to you to love your self ,not lower your standards and find youa good man that will treat you like a queen . The risk is huge for a married couple not only emotionally and mentally but financially. He said he emailed her afterward telling her I found the picture and they would not be contacting or emailing anymore. Found some odd emails in his phone tonight, so I clicked one and discovered that he had setup an account on a cheating website Ashley Madison. i am so confused,what happens to me and my unborn child and how do i fight this fraustration cos i love him so much. Love yourself. He even has a profile set up I confronted him and he denies its him he says someone set him up. Accept it as a positive rather than a negative. I just dont know enough about your relationship or marriage to give you advice! Which made me so blind to it all. He apologized, said he doesnt want to date her or anyone other than me and that he will stop talking to her and make it clear that nothing will happen. Im sorry, but I dont understand why youre staying with this man. I do not know your husband nor do I even know you but if I did I would most likely beg you to go out for a drink with me and explain al the reasons why you are better then him while we knocked back martinis .. that being said I am sure you have to know he will most likely never recover from this cerial cheting he has got going on here. You can be OK with or without him. He made an ass of himself. An ultimatum isnt even in question. I found out this year in March the day before my birthday actually. I dont know what to think about your husbands behavior it does seem odd, thats for sure. since then i been angry and just disgusted and just dont believr ever anymore he snaps at just about everything know i knoe pot does that controols the mind and stuff but omg and he changes his mind like 5 times in oneday with many things so i also think he has bypolar he alots of signs of it well know im a pretty lady a nd love to excersice so look pretty he hates anyone talk to me but i know it cause he can talk to anyone freely but not me my whole life was oneway jay so no im not asking how to handle this i know im crazy to leave right i know but he needs help or just leave im not the kids but no he wont leave i tell him i cant take it anymore well today i broke into his facebook and put more links gether but i do my research very well and when it presented lol im a physcic funny another lady said it too know when u look u find but yes ur mind can can just put other crazy imagainations well i been angry for a long time taht for years when we fight i dont care man years ago when i sure didnt know anything i was like nono dont leave me know wtf im lkike omg but right kno cause i saw facebook and the contacts that match his recent phone he had that lied and a bill was sent to his grandfather saying his cousin gave it to him no im not neive i dotn fall for nothing and he knows for years I h have been knumb well right know i justi can die i just cant anymore but my boys i love my boys they are so smart i dont want to go to work tomorrow know i been strong a long times for years casue other day he said patty i love u blah but yes he mite but me im a good girl i dont have freinds im home for my boys we do stuff but as a family we dont maybe 5 times a year or sothing likekid b day or they got honors but it never fun he yells at us i know it the pot in his brain cause one second nice then snaps then jums to sothing else or the bypolar thing i think he has my kids said it once too they noitce it and i dont disrespect there father to the kids please if they new anything like that omg no words for that. I love him dearly for that.. Xoxo.. And he denies it all. Either he made that recording to hear the sound of his own voice, had gotten a friend to help with said false evidence, he thought the words he chose in that sentence had a different meaning than they actually do theories and possibilities if it was all some elaborate hoax in all its astronomical odds. I want to confront my husband, but I was also in the wrong by snooping. Id really appreciate it thank you. Your well-being is not dependent on this man, nor should it to be. Ive been with the same man for almost thirty years, and really do hate to break it to other women, but men cheat. Can you say CHEATER! Im sorry youre going through this. Life is too short. To feel respected and to once again feel powerful . I will be praying for you and your child!!! They found call logs, text messages and social media chats. Which he hasnt done for me. I was shocked at the pictures shown and the women on the other end of the camera so i quickly closed it. I caught him. Look at your part. We had many problems but there was always a level if trust that I really didnt question. I was reading these articles and I ran into your comment. If not, what changes can you make that will make you happy? She was also pentecostal and stopped wearing skirts, started wearing make up and cut her hair. I do recognize that he has been the one who has had to take over all chores like cooking (which he did before), cleaning, laundry, etc. Anyhow, any man that cheats while his partner is pregnant simply cannot be called a man. You express yourself quite well. True Love doesn't live in your marriage anymore so why stay. I asked him about it many times. About a year into living here he starts staying late at work more and more oftenusually getting home at midnight sometimes even 2am. I just need to know 100% the truth before I walk away i need clousure. Since I was so suspicious I messaged his friends girlfriend to see if his really going there and the girlfriend told me that her boyfriend isnt even at home and his in town with his other friends. Since then he has a new phone number so i cant check his phone as it never leaves his side as well as a email at work, Do you think he is cheating again? He doesn't mean it. He was just trying to help a friend gain her citizenship. I am 100% and completely amazed by the fact that you posted this!!?? My instincts tell me that he may be cheating but I cant figure out how he would have the time. It lasted about 2 or 3 months. We I confronted him once he was very defensive and said he would never cheat on me. What she shared were text messages from him to her asking if she would have sex with him. Is it ok that he texts and calls her on a regular basis. His constant criticizing me, being snobbish, distant, blackmailing I laugh now as my initial reaction was being not confidant at all, feeling small and insignificant. In the end, I just walked away with $50,000 while he kept our house, which was worth around $800,000 at the time. I pray for you both as parents to your son, for unity and healing and connection. Then, by the Summer of 2011, I was suspicious of him getting this woman pregnant. I think you need to decide what resolution you need before you can walk away. He had changed so much after the night he went out with her. He admitted she emailed him for the next four weeks and he would answer her back. PLEASE LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH NOT TO LET YOURSELF BE WALKED ALL OVER!!! hi my name is kathryn and my husband has his own construction company and my son works for him times are hard so he let my sons girl frend work with him job was to wright estaments ride with him all day looking at jobs and no i didnt like this he also would carry viagra and pain pills with him and as you no he says nothing went on why cant i belive this. Most of the questions seem to be coming from women who are in marriages or long term committed relationshipswhat do you think about handling cheating in new relationships? Or I thought I could change him, or he would change. I know she wants him just by the way she moved away from him really fast when I walked over to him. With this evidence to hand, youll be in a far better position to take the steps listed below. He could her everything about us. He helped me with my children from a previouse relationship. It pisses me off more than ever but once again, its because I cant have him but I dont think I would even want him, bc of how he is lying to himself and his wife. I had enough self esteem to just end it right then. Phone is always connected to him. Well needless to say last year the day after my daughters one year birthday party I found out that this woman was pregnant by my boyfriend. He lies so much that it piss me off all the time. How do I know shes out of the picture? Said how shed love to have him as a partner. He literally showed no remorse and to this day maintains that he did nothing wrong. Well i went to counseling, tried to turn other cheek, live what bible says about forgiveness ,we even MOVED out of state. My neighbor across the street said to me that he had sex with a woman when I confronted him he said she was a lier. We hadnt had sex for three weeks and that night we had sex. He never did. Are your kids all boys? But the worst thing that any woman of any age or relationship status can do is give up her own sense of worth, independence (financially and emotionally), and self respect. He ofcorse acted as if it was nothing so i could him it made me feel uncomfortable. Good luck to you both. I can see him paying closer attention to me, kissing me and telling me he loves me. I cant trust anything he tells me even when he tells me that he lies to me to protect me because he loves me. I see her at work daily. Hi, Thank you! But our fear of the unknown holds us back more than anything. Now i wasnt talking to my friend about going out and smoking with him we were just talking about stuff from the past and stuff in general. She was 25. But I still cant get it out of my mind that he is lieing about not having sex with her and got emotionally involved instead of being there for me. So if there is any advice i would be ever so greatful. A couple of months ago he decided that he wanted to go on a diet and shave his gotee. I found the texts and my world collapsed! Should I stay or should I go? We have both been through hell and back trying to repair the damage that has been done! I did look at his recent calls and didnt find number. I want to believe he still loves me but it is really hard. I recently learned that he kept track of the days he saw her by drawing smiley faces in his calendar. He had introduced her to me about a year previous to this incident and gave me her name and said she was the brother of the person we both know. Now he is talking to this girl he sees at work who babysits his bosses kids. Then I went to his office and conveniently his American Express bills were not in the files. He now uses a bactrack breathalyzer everyday after work. if so, than sex is not the issue here. I had no idea what to think. I try to move past it but its in my mind everyday. I was promised that this woukd happen, by him and the staff. Many blessings of peace and joy on you, Laurie. But to me, I will never ever trust him anymore. Comments are welcome pls. My heart has been torn out and Im not sure if our marriage is even worth working on now. Please give me your advise.I think my husband has cheated on me with my sister-in-law.my signs are a strong gut feeling and i have seen him looking at her butt several times and and about 4 years ago my sis-in-law and my brother were our neighbors and my brother is a captain offshore so he was gone often.I came home one day and pulled up and my husband came out of there house and the only one that was home was my sis-in-law and my neice which was a baby about 9 months old.when i asked him why he was over there he said he went to see the baby.He has gone out of his way to help her we would have a party and she would be dancing and he would just stare at her.When i would asked him if he did anything with her he gets mad at me and has even cried.then he tells me keep it up just keep it up.So i told him i was going to ask her he got very defensive and said i would not do it because it is gonna cause problems and my relationship with her will never be tha same that i am gonna look stupid when we talk about it he always turns away from me and shakes his head.I did ask her and she said no way i would never do that but she also got caught cheating on my brother before i wonder sometime if that is why i feel this way.I told him i was gonna talk to my brother about it and he got very defensive he said because of my feelings that i am pushing him away so he turns everything around on me and makes me believe i have a problem.Do I?What can i do to stop this feeling how do i find out the truth because my gut will not let it go.They now will barely talk to eachother she still puts herself in his face but he is tryin to ignore her.But i still catch him looking at her body parts and then he tells me u can;t see through my eyes i was not looking at her body parts but my eyes do not lie to me and i know what i see.Me and him have been together since 94 and have 2 kids together so please let me know what u think about this and how i should go about finding out the truth even if i have to sneak around the truth and lie i need to know the truth or is he telling tha truth.Please let me know what u think am i crazy for feeling this way or am i just jealous or is it him that has a problem.Thank u, Well Im sure my story isnt any different, from the others. 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