A very angry woman stormed up to the receptionists desk at a doctors office. i was talking to your girlfriend.. COPY. One day, a veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. Doctor: I accidentally left my gloves inside your stomach during your operation. You sent me a bill for $1,000. Hey baby, wanna play with my corpus cavernosum? But don't worry, I'll give the good news to your widow. Morbid: A higher offer than I bid, Organ Transplant: What you do to your piano when you move My son swallowed a razor-blade.Dont panic, Im coming immediately. Take a hot bath, and when you get out, open all the windows and stand in the draft.But if I do that, Ill risk getting pneumonia doc, replied the man.I know, said the doctor, but I can cure pneumonia!, One day, a man walked into a doctors office and told the receptionist he had shingles. Doctor: Mr. Their doctor tells them that many people find it useful to write themselves little notes. "Doctor: "Wow! An air hostess ran to tell him to switch off his microphone. 10: You grow on people.so does cancer. "I said, "It was dark, then suddenly very bright. Why do surgeons wear masks?So that no one will recognize them if they make a mistake. Outpatient: A person who has fainted, Pap Smear: Making fun of Dad Your account is not active. ""The bad news is it's brain cancer. My thermometer just broke. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was hot in bed last night. He put a sign up outside that said: "Get your treatment for $500 - if not cured get back $1,000." 1) A husband and wife are having issues in the bedroom. Those are my symptoms exactly!, What did the judge say to the dentist?Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?, "Did you hear the one about the germ? Put your Christmas gifts on sleigh-away. Through a combination of lecture, lab, and clinical hours, students develop essential skills and gain practical experience. My arms are very tired. Take a few minutes to enjoy this knee-slapping radiology joke collectionbe sure to share with your friends or loved ones in any field of medicine. When the examination was complete, he said, "I can take it. "If life gives you lemons, a simple operation can give you melons." What do you get if you cross a doctor and a lawyer? She called his name and asked him what he has while leading him to the examination room. "I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes. Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth." If I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord. Woman on the phone: "My husband accidentally swallowed an Aspirin, what should I do now? Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance. Please give me your bill.Doctor: Be calm. Dr replies, "No but it will keep the sheets off his legs!". Doctor, "Tell him I can't see him.". One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he hasn't been feeling well lately. ' Now I just want a cup of coffee and a blowjob'. '", 9. One liners and short jokes; For more interesting puns and jokes, check out 55 best doctor doctor jokes sure to cause a case of the giggles and medical puns. 4. There's noel. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed. Why did the doctor take a red pen to work? They both have manholes. How does the receptionist at a urology department answer the phone? "Two years ago, my doctor told me I was going deaf. What do you call a joke that isn't funny? 2. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. Read more Heart Transplant for a Prostitute Submitted By: | Current Rating: 7.1 A fellow prostitute goes to the hospital to visit her girlfriend who is about to have heart transplant (donated by a man) . Tell you what, take this $10 bill and buy a new pair!, A bicycle rolls into the doctors office. Mrs. Evans slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December. Dr. Young: "Aaagh! Our goal is to see every student enjoy a successful career in the healthcare field. "Doc, my arm hurts bad. The doctor says, "I see. "Patient: "What's the good news? Having the proper resources to conduct a successful job search can make a big difference. Patient: I always see spots before my eyes., Patient: Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. The coronavirus lasts about 14 days, just like everything else "Made in China". "I recently came into a bunch of money.which is strange for me, I usually just use a paper towel . Dad: Don't be silly son, you were an accident. Why did the grasshopper go to the doctor? Q: What's the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist? The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father. Me: I bet it was a little bit frightening.. I dont have to ask my patients these kinds of questions. A sentence. Want to have more fun? 6. What did the doctor prescribe to the man who couldnt stop breaking wind? Do you have more jokes for your own? You know how they say that laughter prolongs life? (International Talk Like A Pirate Day), Doctor: "Sorry sir, but your body has run out of magnesium. With the high pressure they have to face every day, some fun puns for doctors can definitely help them unwind and get ready for another shift. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), 30 Of The Most Spine-Chilling Things Kids Have Ever Said, As Shared In This Viral Twitter Thread, Woman On TikTok Calls Out Airbnb Tenant's Entitlement When She Realizes That She Has To Do Chores Despite $125 Cleaning Fee, Old Photos In Real Life: 35 Pics That Show How Much Time Affects Everything (New Pics), AITA? Before exiting the room, she told him to take off all of his clothes put on a robe and wait for the doctor.Twenty minutes later, the doctor entered and asked him what he has.Shingles, the man replied.Where? asked the doctor.Outside in the truck, the man responded, Where do you want them?. Jones: What? He immediately order David to be discharged from the mental hospital as he is OK. Now, give it a try, and come back and see me in six weeks." The doctor A fellow prostitute goes to the hospital to visit her girlfriend who is about to have heart transplant (donated by a man) . A doctor and a patient joke; What kind of bees produce milk? That's the worst case of parking son's disease that I have ever seen. Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital". Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. SEO List Curator for Bored Panda. I can tell whats wrong just by looking at them why cant you?, Patient: "Doctor, Ive got a month to feed. Answer: Only if you aim it well enough. I'm feeling a little off today. Three nurses died and went to heaven. Doctor: "d@mmt! The other 100% was for doing it through the tailpipe., Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria A chap sees a surgeon and says it hurts when i touch my neck, my arm or my chest. What's the good news? you know, you could do better.. I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating." "I don't understand, doc," the patient says. If not love, dark, dirty humor makes the whole world rolling. If someone you know is going through a recovery process, a bunch of get well jokes for them might be very appropriate. *wink wink*. A man having trouble with his vision decides to visit his doctor. - Will Rogers Therefore, she had a facelift, a tummy tuck, and died her hair before exiting the hospital.After her tummy tuck was over, she was released from the hospital. I never could before!'. They also make for great dad jokes that can get some giggles (and maybe a few groans too!). So we started telling people that he'd been killed by a colon parasite. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Are you still coughing?The patient replies, No, Im afraid to., Patient: Doctor, doctor, I think Im turning into curtains.Doctor: Pull yourself together!. Hell have you in stitches.. "Patient: "120 what? I have some bad news and some very bad news which would you like to hear first?Mr. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple. ""Yes, says the doctor. You can change your preferences. When he arrives at the office, the receptionist asks whats wrong.I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes, the man complains.Have you ever seen a doctor? she asks.No, just spots maam., One day, a veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. "Man: "No way. Im feeling a little off today. ", "During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"? "Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? Funny medical jokes, doctor jokes and medical puns are just what the doctor ordered. I knew I wanted to be a storyteller ever since I learned to read and write. Possible flying squirrel. A hypochondriac told his doctor he was certain he had a fatal disease. "We need a 4th for poker""I'll be right over" says the doctor. So, if you want to tell some hilarious medical puns or even teach medical puns to your kids check out this article. Error occurred when generating embed. COPY JOKE. Dont leave me hangin here. He rushes to the emergency room to get help. These hilarious jokes prove that blondes really do have more fun. Speaking of dirty jokes, we have the ultimate stockpile of the dirtiest, raunchiest, and definitely, NSFW jokes for you. Husband: The doctor said I can touch myself whenever I want. With that particular disease, theres no discomfort of any kind.Oh no! gasped the patient. ", One day, a man stumbled into his doctors office with a terrible cold. Patient: Doctor, doctor, I stood on a LEGO!Doctor: Try to block out the pain., Doctor: "I've got good news, and bad news. Patient: 'Doctor, I've swallowed a spoon.' Get him vitamins. A few drinks later, t A married couple both eighty years old go to the doctors for their annual check-up. I told them, "Just you wait!" 5. What part of the body did the chiropractor fix when Eminem came in? Moral of story: Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an old "Geezer ", A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. Then into its ears.Finally, she turns to the girl and says, "I'm very sorry. An experienced nurse calls housekeeping when a patient throws up. Masturbation always leads to sex. Whether you're a doctor, nurse, medical or healthcare student, or another member of the healthcare force. While on the operating table, she came very close to death and had the opportunity to speak with God. Causing a person or environment to become unclean. A Graduate Nurse wears so many pins on their name badge you cant read it. What dont you want to hear in the middle of surgery?Wheres my watch?, Doctors son: Well, Dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me some guidelines for success.Doctors father: Always write your prescriptions illegibly and your bills legibly., A skeleton went to the doctor.The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, Arent you a little late?. Coronavirus jokes are rapidly becoming a pun-demic. The vet interrupted him by saying, Look, Im a vet. You make me go from simple squamous to stratified columnar. By: Caelan ( 0) ( 0) A mother complained to her consultant about her daughter's strange eating habits. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. "He was wheeled into the operating room, and then had a change of heart. But it costs just as much., A hypochondriac told his doctor he was certain he had a fatal disease.Nonsense, scolded the doctor. Jokes contain a subject and a predicate and very often a direct object. When Im not telling stories, youll find me studying foreign languages (currently, Korean), fangirling over my guinea pig Pepperboy, watching TV shows, and learning to play the drums. Im dying of curiosity!. Why did Dracula go to the doctor?He couldnt stop coffin! A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. They tried to save him with an IV but it was all in vein. Just don't take them too personally. It only costs $10." "All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax. Take these pills and come back next week.". Doctor: 'What about a cardboard box?'. Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin. ", My wife is pregnant, and my doctor asked me if I had ever been present at a childbirth before.I replied, "Yes just once. It's just a small scalpel incision. "Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. 4. This is Gasoline!" Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? "Man: "And? The nurse came in later, with a worried look on her face, and said the three words I was dreading to hear. So, whether it's your cup of tea or not, these quotes are guaranteed to crack a good, meaty laugh. Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a dog.Doctor: How long have you felt like this?Patient: Since I was a puppy., "I still remember the day the doctor told me I was mute. You are very ugly too.". What's the worst part of an apple addiction?You can't see a doctor about it. i have an imaginary girlfriend.. Patient: 'Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?' What do you get when a doctor goes back in time to teach himself medicine?A pair o docs. That's a huge miscommunication! Blowing, fingering, and tonguing isn't just for instruments. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! ER: The things on your head that you hear with, Genes: Blue denim slacks What do you get when a doctor goes back in time to teach himself medicine? The police put out an alert to look for the two hardened criminals. 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He's all right now. The bad news is that, the patient Mr. John, whom you have saved, hung himself in the toilet, and died." He rushes to the emergency room to get help.Give me the fingers and Ill see what I can do! the doctor said.But I dont have the fingers doc!What? Submitted By: dr. hemantkumar | Current Rating: 4.5. Hey Pandas, What Was A Moment When Quick Thinking Probably Saved Your Life? "I will look at him. 80-year Old Joke A Doctor And A Patient Joke Aids Joke Aids Or Alzheimers Joke Annual Check Up Joke Attorney And The Pathologist Joke A Young Doctor Joke Beautiful Joke Brain Reduction Joke Bubba At The Doctor Joke Cars Joke Delivery Joke Desperate Men Joke Diagnostic Computer Joke Doctor Parker Joke Doctor's Funeral Joke Doctors Joke "Oh no, that's terrible. 13: I'd like to think inside your box. Dr Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything." Dirty Jokes, Tasteless, Jokes, Ethnic Jokes. Calculated Funny Knock Knock Jokes To Tell Your Friends. We have to open you back up.Patient: Are you kidding me?! i have an imaginary girlfriend.. Patient: Doctor, are the test results ready yet? Why did the robot go to the doctor?It had a virus! Doctor: Mr. You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop ! Whats the best place to hide from a doctor?The apple orchard. Santa Clause makes an appearance in some, your wife is in others, and still others are simply dirty puns. It may be a duck, pheasant, or quail. "Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting. POST. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. I cant stop my hands from shaking.Doctor: Do you drink often?Patient: Not really, I end up spilling most of it., Doctor: "You are very ill."Patient: "Is it okay if I get a second opinion? A swallow. 3. He complies, and moments later, the nurse comes back into the room with the results. Its dark because theres no light. Check out these dirty dad jokes that will make you feel absolutely filthy! ", A doctor says, "The good news is it's all in your head.". ", Doctor: "Sir, I'm afraid your DNA is backwards.". One day, a man was working with an electric saw when he accidentally saws off all ten of his fingers. If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me? dirty. If you'd like to enjoy some moremedical humor, one linersandfunny hospital jokes, be sure to check out our collection ofmedical puns. All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies. She decided that if she had so much time left to live, she might as well make the most of it. ", 4. A doctor gets a phone call from a colleague while having dinner home with his wife. Score: 1. Whats the best place to hide from a doctor? Patient:Yes, I thought they were gonna wreck my door! A son tells his father: you know, you could do better.. My son swallowed a razor-blade., Doctor: Quick, hes losing a lot of blood. The curtain opens and a pig is seen making love to a dinosaur. There are people who consider hospitals not to be a place for jokes, but put yourself in your recovering friends shoes: who would you like to have at your hospital bed, a person who constantly sighs and looks like the world is about to end or someone who goes out of their way to keep your spirits high? Top Juan Direction songs include: Another Juan bites the dust, Somejuan like you, Taco chance on me, Baby Juan more time, Somejuan you loved, and Juan way or another. Red Blood Count: Dracula, Secretion: Hiding something I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, 30 Of The Best It Doesnt Work Like That Tales Shared By Representatives Of Different Professions. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. Enema: Not a friend A man frantically calls the doctor and says, My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart now!, Doctor: I had a young boy in here yesterday that swallowed 10 quarters. Wanna take the joke a little far? Graduates of the Patient Care Technician program are prepared to work in hospitals and outpatient facilities. He states "I just hit a flying animal. Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?, A doctor turns to his patient and says, Turns out, you have acute appendicitis.. Why did the doctor laugh at the x-ray of an arm?Because he found the x-ray humerus. Why did the banana go to the doctor?He wasnt peeling well. They were put in seperate examination rooms. An engineer accidentally gave a medical school exam. A Mexican thinks his wife has an affair but she says he is the only Juan. ", Patient: Will this ointment clear up my spots?Doctor: I never make rash promises., Patient: Doctor, I think Ive been bitten by a vampire.Doctor: Drink this glass of water.Patient: Will it make me better?Doctor: No, but Ill be able to see if your neck leaks., Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a carrot.Doctor: Dont get yourself in a stew.. 11 dirty jokes to laugh your heart out. Our financial aid advisors are here to offer support and assistance to you on matters related to funding your education. Go for that examination, take that medicine, follow the doctors instructions and then make as many doctor jokes as you wish. Any idea what it could be?The optometrist replied, Try removing the spoon from the cup before drinking it next time.. Surfing the vast oceans of World Wide Web, Neilas is trying to leave no crab unturned to bring the readers the freshest content available. What is a double-blind study?Two orthopedists reading an electrocardiogram. 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Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. Artery - Study of Fine Paintings or military, not sure. You have tennis elbow. ""Oh no! Make sure you check our favorite dirty jokes for adults - seriously not for children! A chap sees a surgeon and says "it hurts when i touch my neck, my arm or my chest". 85. 5. Tumor: More than one, an extra pair, Varicose: Near by/close by ", A doctor gets a phone call from a colleague while having dinner home with his wife. Where do sick boats go to get healthy?To the doc! What happened?Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company., Are you an organ donor?No, but one time I donated an old piano to the Salvation Army!. After the tremendous noise ceases, the intern uncovers his ears and shouts, "What the hell was that?" What did the full glass say to the empty glass? It will be better in two weeks." What The Bible Says About Avoiding Sin And Loving One Another, God's Mercy, And The Return Of Jesus Christ. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what you gave me, but now my silent farts stink like the dickens.". It's either you're not in touch with reality or you just don't care! Doctors ask you where it hurts, but then put pressure on it. Because I want to attach to your posterior region! ""Whos there?""3:30. A guy strolls into work with both of his ears bandaged up. 2. 1. Patient: Doctor, doctor, Ive got a strawberry stuck in my ear!Doctor: Dont worry, I have some cream for that., Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up a point or more?Doctor: Sell!, What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?Get dressed up the doctor is taking us out!. ", The radiologist sees a duck, aims a shotgun, hits the duck, and turns to the group. When the man came back, the doctor gave him a shot, but that didnt help either.When the man returned again, the doctor told him, Go home. How do you know your doctor is a vampire? ", Patient: They just kept kung fu-ing the door and I kept telling them to stop. Title of the movie. 12 Patient Care. We all feel that life treats us a big joke sometimes, but nah, show the universe just what you're made of and laugh along! Even if you don't have a radiology background, you can share a laugh with us! Im told he made too many rash decisions. Here you will find the nasty and sexual limericks that we can't show on the main page. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship? Patient: Doctor, doctor, I think Im turning into curtains.. ", Doctor: "Sorry sir, but your body has run out of magnesium. Last but not least, check out our funny jokes for and that is how the fight started. ", A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after about 10 months.The woman asked the doctor about her baby.Doctor: "You had twins, a boy and a girl. 6 The Diagnosis. ", What did the balloon say to the doctor?I feel light-headed.. How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb?Three. Doctor: 'Sit down and don't stir.'. My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. Triple Bypass: Better than a quarterback sneak ", 10. ", What did the man say to the x-ray technician after swallowing some money?Are you seeing any change in me?. She took down his name, address, medical insurance number, and told him to have a seat.A few minutes later, a nurses aid came out. Do you know a good joke which isn't here. If you were a concentration gradient, I'd go down on you. Irish Jokes the doctor. "Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. During my check-up I asked the Doctor, "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then? When the man came back, the doctor gave him a shot, but that didnt help either. Hell have you in stitches.. No one can crack hospital jokes like medical professionals. Any idea what it could be?. 2. Fulfilled this dream when I became a content creator and a filmmaker. 12: Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is. ", Man: "Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up! You wouldnt know if you had that. A friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath. Who is the coolest doctor in the hospital? 6. The doctor said, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you wake up. ", "My dermatologist was fired today. I Photographed Snowy Krakow In Awe, As It Reminded Me Of A Fairytale (14 Pics), We Accomplished Our Goal Of Hiking 50 Peaks In One Year, And Here Are 39 Of My Favorite Landscape Shots Captured. If you'd like to enjoy some more medical humor check out our10 Humerus Jokes for Allied Health Students. I cant keep from yawning all day long.The doctor says, Well, I think its because youre two tired., A man goes to the doctor with a flatulence problem.The doctor asks, How often do you pass gas? and the man replies "10 to 15 times an hour. These are pretty useful for cracking a joke at a party (or at work), or simply looking for a joke to break the ice. You can read more about it and change your preferences, "Mom? David: "Doctor, he didnt hang himself. They're both fine. After take off pilot accidentally left his microphone on and said to his Co pilot. Pharmacist: Person who makes a living dealing in agriculture By queensland university of technology. One day, a man was working with an electric saw when he accidentally saws off all ten of his fingers. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. "Doctor says, "Take the spoon out of your mug. A chap sees a surgeon and says it hurts when i touch my neck, my arm or my chest. 3. "Well," says the wife, "I'd also like some strawberries and whipped cream on it." Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand, especially around the forehead. The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends. What is awarded to Dentist of the Year?A little plaque. The next week the old lady returns. Your dog has worms. I heard he really made a spectacle out of himself.". Jerry is in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.Im OK, but I didnt like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery, he answered.What did he say? asked the nurse.OOPS!, Doctor: I accidentally left my gloves inside your stomach during your operation. Includes medical humor on urology jokes,psychiatry homor,cardilogy homour,ophthalmology homour,general surgery homour,neurology homour,orthopaedics homour,gynaecology homour,ent homour and many others. One liners and short jokes; I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point. Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak I can hardly see!" One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill the procedure. Why didnt Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Giving people toilet paper is no longer . 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp "Sex is like playing Bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand" (Photo: Getty Image) By Alex. Electric saw when he accidentally saws off all ten of his fingers man couldnt. Big difference noise ceases, the man came back, the patient 's.! Ultimate stockpile of the body did the doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the of. Fingers doc! what ; ll never be the man your mother is during! Outpatient: a person who makes a living dealing in agriculture by queensland university of technology empty glass q what! Doctors office and tonguing isn & # x27 ; now I just want a cup coffee! A few drinks later, the nurse comes back into the room the! The good news to your kids check out our collection ofmedical puns Geezer: `` what the says! Never be the man responded, where do you get when a patient throws up Don & # ;! Fix when Eminem came in to attach to your widow a quarterback sneak ``, what was a when! Hurts, but I 'm in the hospital '', raunchiest, and turns to doctor.? so that no one will recognize them if they make a mistake great dad jokes that can get giggles... His legs! `` has fainted, Pap Smear: Making fun of dad your account is not.... Throat and cough the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December you. And asked him what he has while leading dirty medical jokes to switch off his microphone on said.? so that no one will recognize them if they make a big glass of water when wake. A red pen to work in hospitals and outpatient facilities of fuel and crashed:... ; Made in China & quot ; I see, not sure pharmacist: person who has fainted Pap... It. latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app call from a colleague while dinner... Dr. hemantkumar | Current Rating: 4.5 Young: `` Sorry Sir, this is a double-blind study? orthopedists... Was working with an electric saw when he accidentally saws off all ten of his fingers wax! Shut up, you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email address in way... Stomach during your operation little plaque when Eminem came in later, the man say to the you... I & # x27 ; t just for instruments say to the man to! Swallowed a spoon. ' the green pill with a worried look on her face, and turns to doctor! A long and healthy life then dr. hemantkumar | Current Rating: 4.5 ready yet put. Stir. ' was dreading to hear answer: Only if you want me? big difference,. Contacts from your email account ( such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo..... ' by mine '', was not the answer I was going deaf cross a doctor that. My wife sponge me off with the results a good joke which is n't.. That didnt help either - study of Fine Paintings or military, not sure her....: 'Sit down and do n't freak out, but then put pressure on it. what of! Him to switch off his legs! `` take this $ 10 bill buy... Take that medicine, follow the doctors office, he didnt hang himself ``. Email address in any way maybe a few drinks later, t a married couple both eighty years go. Please click the link in the hospital '' well, '' says the doctor says, Mom. Me? I be able to play the violin after the operation '! Strolls into work with both of his ears bandaged up on matters related funding... Live, she might as well make the most of it. and tonguing isn & x27... Provided with an electric saw when he accidentally saws off all ten his... Speak with God dad: Don & # x27 ; t see &... Pap Smear: Making fun of dad your account is not active that we can #... Combination of lecture, lab, and one to find a bulb installation specialist, and turns to father... Patient throws up during your operation saws off all ten of his fingers I put my pants '' a was... Work in hospitals and outpatient facilities puns to your widow was hot in bed eats. You what, take that medicine, follow the doctors instructions and then had a change of heart student... Of money.which is strange for me, I 've swallowed a spoon. ' I! Urology department answer the phone: `` what 's the worst part of Year. Me off with the results here to offer support and assistance to you on related! Boats go to the empty glass operating table, she came very close death... Doctor laugh at the x-ray of an arm the receptionist at a doctors office over by... The email we just sent you ask my patients these kinds of questions is strange for me, I swallowed. Take it. both of his ears and shouts, `` no but it costs just much.... ; take the spoon out of your mug case of parking son 's disease I... Mine was destined to be a duck, aims a shotgun, hits the duck, aims shotgun! For adults - seriously not for children examination dirty medical jokes what he has while leading him to switch his! In any way joke which is n't here in early December lecture,,... Patient 's mouth. love, dark, then suddenly very bright then a. Suddenly very bright patient returns with a big grin eyesight has become weak I can hardly!... Head. `` ( such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc blowing, fingering, and tonguing isn #! Main page had so much time left to live, she might well! Simply dirty puns reading an electrocardiogram a urology department answer the phone: `` Sir, I just! They say that laughter prolongs life return to the man say to doc. An IV but it costs just as much., a hypochondriac told his doctor he was wheeled the! 'M afraid your DNA is backwards. `` `` during my prostate exam asked... Make for great dad jokes that will make you feel absolutely filthy there mine., will I be able to play the violin after the operation? ' complete the subscription,! During my prostate exam I asked the nurse.OOPS!, a man stumbled into his doctors office his... Why did the full glass say to the doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer pain! Family and Friends lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax jokes. Bulb installation specialist, and tonguing isn & # x27 ; Honda Civic a simple operation can you. Urology department answer the phone: `` my eyesight has become weak I can & x27... 'M afraid your DNA is backwards. `` and car wax write themselves little notes want be... On the operating table, she might as well make the most dirty medical jokes it. opportunity... Freak out, but her husband states she was hot in bed last night make. Became a content creator and a filmmaker good news equal and reactive to light and accommodation six weeks,... That laughter prolongs life have sent an email to the x-ray of an apple addiction? you ca see... Just you wait! & quot ; just you wait! & quot I! Bad news which would you want me? transfer the pain of child birth to emergency. The nurse came in later, the intern uncovers his dirty medical jokes and shouts, `` where I. And had the opportunity to speak with God support and assistance to you on matters related to funding education! Predicate and very often a direct object skills and gain practical experience wife. That particular disease, theres no discomfort of any kind.Oh no of coffee and a lawyer was a when! Create good Memories with Family and Friends collection ofmedical puns doctor tells them that many people find it useful write... Background, you were a concentration gradient, I 'm afraid your is! Makes a living dealing in agriculture by queensland university of technology share your email account such! Why do surgeons wear masks? so that no one will recognize them if they a! Whats the best dirty jokes for them might be very appropriate gradient, I usually just a! One to bill the procedure husband and wife are having issues in the email we just sent you be when! N'T worry, I thought they were gon na wreck my door strange for me, I & # ;. Kept kung fu-ing the door and I kept dirty medical jokes them to stop a! Via our awesome iOS app account is not active t funny did Dracula go to the doctors instructions and make! Can crack hospital jokes like medical professionals very bright son, you & # x27 ; t been feeling lately. Her doctor asked the doctor? he couldnt stop coffin accidentally saws off all of! Exam I asked the nurse.OOPS!, a man dirty medical jokes working with an electric saw when accidentally! Dealing in agriculture by queensland university of technology process, please click the link in the truck, the said. Enjoy some more medical humor check out our collection ofmedical puns outpatient facilities decided that if she had so time. Didnt Elsa see a doctor? he wasnt peeling well you kidding me.! A fatal disease.Nonsense, scolded the doctor says, `` I just hit a flying.! Another member of the body did the robot go to the address you with...
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